


Show Me The Way Home

by Tesvyn



Series: The Master (of Death) [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental Dimension Travel, Aliases, Alternate Universe, Baking, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Drunkenness, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Hangover, Harry Potter Has Issues, Harry Potter is The Master (Doctor Who), Hugs, M/M, MoD!Harry Potter, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reincarnation, Seer Harry Potter (Sort Of), The Master Has Issues (Doctor Who), Timey-Wimey, innuendos, memories of a past life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24880966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tesvyn/pseuds/Tesvyn
Summary: When Harry, or, uh, Koschei, or... Whatever, wakes up in an unfamiliar place and time, he finds himself struggling to find a way back to his home.
Relationships: The Doctor/The Master (Referenced Past)
Series: The Master (of Death) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1458676
Comments: 86
Kudos: 723





	1. Chapter 1

A man sat in the living room of a little cottage on the moors, his back against the wall and his knees up to his chest.

Dried tear tracks stained his cheeks as he scrolled through the contact list on his phone, clicking on one that said 'Koschei', calling it.

A loud pitched tri-toned beep followed by, "We're sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service," announced its failure.

He stared at the phone blankly, running back through his contact list to dial again.

"We're sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service."

Click, clack, click.

"We're sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service."

Click.

"We're sorry, but the numb-"

"Enough of that," snapped a young woman with bushy brown hair, plucking the mobile from his hand.

"I need that to call-"

"He's not coming back!" she snapped at him, a hard look entering her eyes.

"Of course, he is!" he suddenly yelled, a fire in his eyes, "he _always_ comes back, even when he doesn't want to!"

"Not this time, Doctor," the woman spoke in clipped tones, "No-one can survive the Veil of Death."


	2. Chapter 2

The feeling of gravel digging into his face greeted him as he awoke, his head felt as though it had been stuffed full of wool and he struggled to make sense of what had happened.

Groaning, he slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position and opened his eyes.

He was greeted to the sight of many trees and a river flowing nearby, he looked around quickly, making himself dizzy in the process and took in the sight of a small village just between the gaps in the trees.

His brows furrowed in confusion.

A village? Shouldn't he be in a basement?

His face screwed up in thought.

Basement? Why would he be in a basement?

He dragged himself over to a nearby tree and leant up against its trunk as he slowly worked his way through his memories.

Something was wrong, and it wasn't just his surroundings.

Why was he here? How did he _get_ here? More importantly, _what was he called again?_

Something beginning with an 'H', perhaps? Harvey? No, that wasn't it, Herman? Hector? Hassan? Harper? Harrison? Har… Harry?

That seemed… _almost_ correct.

"What happened?" he questioned himself aloud, his eyes slipping closed as he tried prying the answers from his confusion filled mind.

"There was a… fight?" he mused, "and then there was a feeling of falling?" he hummed for a moment, recalling the chilly free-falling feel of…

His eyes snapped open.

_"The Veil."_

He remembered, Harry was the name that his parents had given him, yet he was far more comfortable responding to the childhood name of his past life, Koschei.

Koschei looked over to where he'd seen the village and let out a sigh.

"Guess I should see where I ended up then."

_**Cardiff, Seven Years Later.** _

A young man with long, slightly matted black hair and short messy stubble on his chin, stared up at a chapel in minor annoyance.

"They do this every week," he muttered under his breath, leaning against a stylish, for the time, cane.

"Excuse me," a man spoke as he ran up to the building, another man hot on his heels.

The young man looked over at them, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Excuse me," he repeated, "what do you mean they do this every week?"

"They've had an issue with the dead rising for the past few months," he stated, "I'm not quite sure why they don't try an exorcism at this rate, _although,"_ he paused, "this is the first time I've seen them come back with a hostage."

"Right," the man stated, "young woman, blonde hair?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful, just wonderful," he muttered.

The young man turned to look at the other person in the group and blinked in mild surprise, "are you Charles Dickens?"

"Yes," he stated, almost blankly.

"Huh," he muttered quietly before his attention was once more stolen by the chapel.

"I'm the Doctor, by the way," the man introduced himself to the younger man, who looked at him from the corner of his eyes.

"I see," he muttered, and turned to face him, tucking a strand of his hair behind an ear to keep it out of his eyes as he did so, "I am Evan," he stated, taking the Doctor's hand in a firm grip, "Evan Evans."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow at the obviously false name but didn't comment on it as he noticed his eyes flickering to Charles and back, likely not wanting to have a conversation about it around someone else.

How interesting, he thought.

"Well then," the Doctor started as he turned and knocked on the door, "let's get this over with then."

Koschei watched as the door opened to show the young girl who worked at the chapel, he thought her name might begin with a 'G', but couldn't quite remember for certain, even though he'd lived there for multiple years by that point.

"I'm sorry sirs, but we are closed," she stated, her eyes darting about in nervousness.

He walked up to the door behind the other two men, barely listening as Charles attempted to gain entry to the building.

His eyes scanned the entryway, noting all the small changes that had happened since the incident had begun, furniture had been moved to the sides, where they had once been strategically placed to make the place seem more homely. Or as homely as a chapel could be.

His attention was stolen as one of the gas lamps on the wall began acting up.

"Having trouble with your gas?" questioned the Doctor.

Koschei watched in fondness as he barged in, ignoring Charles' exclamation of confusion.

"You're not allowed inside, sir!" the girl cried out, as the Doctor came to a stop beside the lamp.

"There's something inside the walls," he muttered, "The gas pipes," he trailed off as Koschei wandered up next to him.

"Something's living inside the gas."

"That doesn't sound good," Koschei said offhandedly.

"No," the Doctor agreed, distracted.

A loud thump followed by a girl yelling to be let out of a room grabbed their attention.

"That's her," the Doctor spoke to Charles, and ran off down the corridor, Charles following quickly behind him and Koschei hurrying to keep them in sight.

The girl whose name might be 'Gwen' or something similar, quickly followed them.

They quickly ran into a man, whose name he had trouble recalling even more than the girl's, who began yelling at Charles.

"Let me out!" a girl's voice carried from behind one of the doors, the Doctor walked over and ran his hands over it in a slight panic, "Somebody open the door!" she began to grow hysteric, "Open the door!" she cried.

The Doctor, deciding there was no time to unlock the door lifted his foot and proceeded to kick it down.

"I think," the Doctor began, pulling the girl away from one of the walking corpses, "that this is my dance."

Charles stared at the corpses in denial, "It's a prank," he began, "it has to be, we must be under some sort of mesmeric influence."

"Big words," Koschei muttered under his breath, hiding a smirk in his shirt's collar.

"No, we're not," the Doctor stated bluntly, "the dead are walking," he turned to the girl, "hi!"

"Hi," she whispered back, "who are your friends?"

"Charles Dickens," he pointed to the man who was in shock.

"Oh, okay," she blinked, seemingly unfazed.

"And," the Doctor narrowed his eyes in Koschei's direction, "Evan Evans..."

Koschei lifted the hand that was on his cane in greeting, "Lovely to meet you, my dear."

"Nice to meet you too."

The Doctor turned to stare at the living corpse from the doorway.

"My name's the Doctor, who are you and what do you want?"

The two corpses in the room seemed to freeze before they spoke in multiple voices at once.

"Open the rift, we're dying," they spoke, "trapped in this form, cannot sustain... Help us!" they seemed to cry out in pain, before a blue gas left their mouths, heading towards the lamps.

The two corpses landed on the ground with a soft thud.

The six living people stared down at them.

"Lovely," Koschei commented.

**_Show Me The Way Home_**

As they all sat in the living room discussing what they had seen, Koschei felt a pressing worry, that something was seriously wrong.

Not that that was anything new, he mused, watching the pale golden strings dance across his vision, everything had been wrong since he'd come here.

It was just a few little things at first, but it had slowly become more apparent as he began searching for a way back to his own time.

Except it wasn't just his own time that he needed to get back to.

There was no Hogwarts, no Diagon Alley, no Department of Mysteries...

No so-called magic.

He'd somehow entered a new universe.

There was a Doctor here, however.

Koschei looked over towards where the Doctor stood, attempting to explain what the rift was to the humans in the room.

He just had to believe that this Doctor was willing to help him get back home.

As the Doctor went to speak to Charles and the girl, Rose, went to speak to the other girl, Koschei did a bit of his own snooping.

Pulling out the shattered remains of his Time-Turner, it having been broken during his trip in The Veil of Death and possibly one of the only reasons he was still alive, he slipped the chain from around his neck and placed the glass onto a wooden counter top.

He quickly pricked his finger on the sharp edge, allowing a drop of blood to land on top of it, sticking it in his mouth when he was done.

Koschei looked around quickly, making sure no-one was close, before spinning the glass in a circle, pushing his magic into it as it went.

A golden dome, visible only to his eyes expanded from the glass shard and slowly expanded to cover the entire house, feeling out the living beings inside of it.

He pushed the strings in his vision out towards the dome and felt around for anything out of the ordinary.

There, below ground.

Koschei felt dread creep up his spine and yet knew that with the Doctor around, it would be alright in the end.

He let out a shuddering breath and dropped the dome, quickly scooping up the broken time turner and clasping it back around his neck.

The Doctor always did have such interesting luck.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

Somehow, Koschei had been dragged into a seance.

He held hands with a surprisingly cheerful Doctor and a very reluctant Charles Dickens.

"Now, Gwyneth-"

_That was her name!_

"-Reach out," the Doctor told the girl.

As she began to speak to the so-called spirits, the golden strings began to flow away from a point in the middle of the room, almost as if repelled by whatever had come in.

Figures began to appear behind Gwyneth, and Koschei watched in fascination as the strings began avoiding them also.

And then Rose, Gwyneth, and the Doctor all began arguing about letting these aliens live in the deceased bodies of humans.

Koschei narrowed his eyes in thought, he knew that this Doctor must still be suffering the guilt of the Time War, hell, his own Doctor was still suffering, and he'd not made it any easier on him.

The Doctor, before the Time War would have never truly considered allowing anyone to wear the dead as their own bodies, he was one of those that considered the dead to be something sacred.

He would know, after all, he himself had stolen bodies in the past, mostly intending to get a rise out of the Doctor.

No, the combination of being told that the Gelth were facing extinction as a direct result of the Time War had played into his guilt.

He just hoped that the Doctor realised his mistake, _and soon._

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

The six of them walked down into the morgue, which was just a draughty basement.

He listened as Rose told the Doctor that this wouldn't work because she hadn't learnt about it in school, and the Doctor responded with the fact that time can change rather easily.

Koschei listened as they spoke to the Gelth and the Doctor helped Gwyneth get into position underneath an archway.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood on edge and an uneasy feeling came over him, "Something _bad_ is going to happen," he muttered under his breath.

Rose, who was stood next to him and had overheard his statement nodded in agreement.

They watched as Gwyneth created a connection for the Gelth to pass through using her body as the bridge.

Koschei saw blue gas filling the room, and the not-spirit turned a sickening red, revealing its trickery.

"I fucking knew it!" he cried out, backing as far away from the gas forms of the Gelth as he could.

"The Gelth comes through in force!" it cried.

Charles worked up his courage to call out to them, "You said that you were few in numbers!"

The red being behind Gwyneth sneered at him, "A few billion, and we all need corpses!"

They watched as the Gelth killed 'Sneed', and while Koschei would like to mock the name, he had other things to be worrying about at that moment in time, such as the fact that his fresh corpse had been taken over by the hostile aliens.

Koschei watched as the Gelth backed Rose and the Doctor into a gate, which they slipped into, closing it behind them so that the dead couldn't reach them.

Koschei decided to go back up the stairs, after throwing a look at both the Doctor and Rose in the small area of safety they'd gotten, watching as he got to the top as Charles ran out of the house, chased by a Gelth.

He looked behind himself as he heard a crash, one of the corpses had followed him, he spun around, flipping his cane upside down, and quickly removing a silver-coloured stick from the end of it.

_"Incendio,"_ he cried out, pointing the stick at the being, which screamed as it burnt.

Once the corpse had fallen still to the ground, charred from head to toe, he let the spell go and tucked his wand behind his left ear for easier access.

He flipped his cane back around as he heard Charles run back inside, a handkerchief held against his mouth.

"Turn all the gas lamps off to get rid of the flames, then turn them back on to their maximum," he stated.

Koschei's eyes widened, "Of course! Gas!"

He pulled out his own handkerchief from his coat pocket and pressed it up against his mouth, and quickly got to work turning on the gas lamps in the second floor of the building.

Once done, he ran down the stairs in time to see Charles, Rose, and the Doctor all run out the door, he followed, dropping his cane in the process.

Koschei let out a slightly annoyed grumble as they evacuated, but didn't turn back for it, knowing that there was no time for it.

The four made it out just in time to see the building explode.

"She didn't make it," Rose whispered.

None of them had to ask who she was talking about.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor began, "she closed the rift."

"At such a cost," Charles murmured, "such a poor child."

They all stared at the flaming building for a moment longer before the Doctor looked away in sadness.

"I did try to save her, Rose, but she was already dead," Koschei heard the grief in his voice that the others would no doubt miss, "she had been for at least five minutes."

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

"He means that she was dead the minute she became their conduct," Koschei spoke, still watching the fire, "it was a type of possession, that, no-one could have survived it."

"But she was speaking to us!" she cried out, "she helped us! _saved_ us!"

"She _did,"_ he conceded, "but that doesn't change what it was," Koschei remembered back to when he was still in his original universe, "when I was eleven, there was a teacher in my school who was possessed by a wraith similar to that."

Koschei took a few steps backwards and stared up at the sky.

"He was dead as soon as the possession took hold, although he looked, felt, and acted alive," he sighed and ran a hand down his face, "once the possessor left his body he dropped to the ground."

He turned to look Rose straight in the eye.

"Like a puppet with its strings cut."

She looked conflicted before she turned to stare back at the fire.

"She saved the world," she muttered, "and no-one will even know."

The Doctor stared at him with a strange look in his eyes.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

Koschei, Charles, Rose, and the Doctor all found themselves stood outside the TARDIS.

Rose made idle chat with Charles for a moment, and Koschei took that opportunity to talk to the Doctor.

"May I ask you a question?" he tried not to let his nervousness show.

"Go ahead," he nodded.

"If I were to say, admit that I was trapped in a universe, not of my own," he flicked his eyes to the ground before looking back up at him, "and maybe say that I've been trying to find you to request help?"

The Doctor blinked, "Oh, that is _much better_ than what I was expecting," he stated, "I honestly thought you were going to try and steal my TARDIS."

Koschei stared at him for a moment, "I'm sorry?"

The Doctor shook his head and chuckled.

"It's nothing, so, why'd you decide to look for my help exactly?"

"I know the you of my universe," he stated bluntly.

"Ah," he grinned, rubbing his hands together, "well, as long as you don't mind travelling with us, I don't see why we can't keep an eye out on a way to get you home."

Koschei gave him a genuine smile, "Thank you."

The Doctor shook his head, before looking back at him, "What is your real name then, I'm sure Evan Evans is not it."

"Harry Potter," he grinned, "my mother's maiden name was Evans, and I just blurted the first thing that came to mind when I was asked about it when I first got here," he gave a slightly embarrassed cough, "I ended up sticking with it."

The Doctor stared at him for a moment before chuckling.

The two stood in silence until the Doctor decided it was time to move on.

Koschei and Rose were ushered into the TARDIS, where they watched the Doctor dance around the control panel.

"So, we're bringing Evan with us?" she asked.

"Harry, actually," Koschei corrected.

The Doctor nodded idly, "He's gotten himself in a spot of trouble, Rose."

She blinked, "Trouble how?"

Harry grinned, as the Doctor set one of the monitors to show Charles outside of the TARDIS, staring at it in slight confusion.

"He's from a different universe," the Doctor answered her question, "now, I think we should give good old Charlie one last surprise!"

And with that he threw down one of the levers, throwing them into the Time Vortex, filling Koschei's vision with countless stings that flew by in a spiral pattern.

"Wait, there are different universes?" Rose asked.


	3. Chapter 3

A loud grinding noise could be heard briefly on the corners of a pedestrian walkway in a council-owned estate in the middle of London.

Had anyone been looking at that moment, they would have been baffled to see a big blue box appear out of thin air.

Once it had settled in place, the door opened and a young man ran out, collapsing to his knees on the asphalt.

"Oh sweet, _sweet_ land, how I love you!" Koschei jokingly cried.

_"Oi,"_ another man appeared out of the box, "my driving's not that bad!"

"I don't know, Doctor, he might have a point," a blonde girl commented from where she leant against the frame of the door.

"What's this? Pick on the Doctor day?"

Rose rolled her eyes and walked over to him, patting him on the shoulder, "alright you, how long have I been gone?"

"About twelve hours," he stated, staring at her hand which was still resting on his shoulder.

"Well, I won't be gone long, just going to go and see my mum," she began, then turned to look at Koschei, "and _you,_ go get some clothes."

They'd spent a few hours parked in the vortex, and Koschei had taken the opportunity to shave and have a nice long shower, untangling his hair as best as he could.

After said shower, he'd been given a set of the Doctor's clothes, minus the leather jacket to borrow, which were, in fact, a bit too big for him, but they'd do for now.

Before they'd left, the Doctor had handed him a credit card with orders to go get some clothes that actually fit, to which Koschei had responded by emptying a pouch of gold into his hands and refusing to take them back.

It wasn't like he was using it anyway.

"A trip to the hairdressers is in order too, I believe," he muttered, rolling a few strands of the dry and rather damaged hair in between his fingertips.

It was a bit too long for his tastes, preferring it at shoulder length which he typically wore in a low ponytail, a habit he could blame on the Beauxbatons female population.

"Alright you," the Doctor gently pushed Rose in the direction of her flat, "What will you tell her?"

"That I've been to the year five billion, met Charles Dickens, and that I'm travelling with an alien and a universe hopper? No, I think I'll just tell her that I spent the night at Shareen's place," she began walking off, waving her hand dismissively, "see you both later, and don't go disappearing, you hear?"

Koschei grinned at the Doctor once she'd walked around the corner, "I suppose I should go and get some clothes then," he let his grin grow teasing, "don't go causing any international catastrophes while I'm gone!"

He turned around to begin his walk into the heart of London, and chuckled as he heard the Doctor yell out a loud, jokingly offended, _"oi!"_

It was very easy to find a clothes shop once he got into the main shopping district of the city, and he slipped into the closest one.

He grabbed a few different types of trousers and some jeans, some shirts in silks and flannels, a nice thick jacket with faux fur lining, a few sets of pyjamas, and a couple of pairs of sturdy boots.

All in all, Koschei wasn't too fussy about how his clothes looked, knowing that with all the running he was bound to be doing, they'd end up more than a little bit messy in the end.

Comfort and practicality were a must-have for clothes whenever one was dealing with the Doctor's shenanigans.

Oh, and he also got some underwear, not that anyone needed to know that.

He then braved a trip to the hairdressers, to see if they could sort out the mess his hair had become and to also get a haircut.

And yes, he did go to a salon that was mostly aimed towards women instead of a barber's shop, because honestly, they just knew how to look after long hair a bit better than the barbers.

Good news, his hair was, in fact, salvageable, although now he had special shampoos and conditioners to use to keep his hair from becoming dry and matted again.

_Expensive_ shampoos and conditioners.

Oh well, at least his hair was soft.

A quick check of the time noted that it was around one in the afternoon, so he decided to grab a quick bite to eat and then check out one of the local book shops to see if there was anything majorly different between the two universes that he should be aware of.

And oh boy was he glad for that decision because right there in the fantasy section in the fictional aisle was a book series named _Harry Potter,_ which were obviously about himself going by the titles of the books, the paintings of The-Boy-Who-Lived on the front covers, and the map of Hogwarts' grounds printed on the first couple of pages.

Koschei frowned but picked up a copy of each book with a plan to read through them all to see what was thought of him by the people of this Earth.

With that done, he began making his way back to the estate the TARDIS was parked at, making a quick stop at a small corner shop to grab a packet of cigarettes.

It had been seven years and tobacco in a pipe just wasn't the same.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

The three people watching the screens at the TARDIS console looked over to the door as it swung open.

"Well don't you clean up nice?" Rose asked rhetorically.

Koschei gave a small grin as he walked over to the Doctor, "here's your clothes back, thanks for letting me borrow them."

The Doctor eyed him silently, as Koschei walked over to Rose.

"You don't happen to have a hair tie, do you? I forgot to get a pack," he placed his other bags down on the floor where it wouldn't be tripped over, next to the console.

"Ah, yeah, just," she dug through her pockets, and pulled out a single hair tie, "here you go."

"Thank you," he gave a soft smile, and gathered his hair into a bundle, tying it into a ponytail at the nape of his neck.

"Who are you?" the third person in the room, who he did not recognise questioned him.

"Harry, and you?"

"That's Ricky," the Doctor inputted.

"It's Mickey!" he cried out in protest.

The Doctor turned to look at Koschei, a mischievous glint in his eyes that he only knew how to recognise thanks to his many years knowing his own Doctor, "doesn't even know his own name."

Koschei turned to Mickey, a worried look on his face, "It's okay if you're unable to remember your name, old age catches up to everyone eventually, it's okay to admit you need help."

Mickey gaped at him and Koschei's face twitched with a grin when Rose burst out laughing, eventually, he gave in to the urge to laugh when he heard the Doctor snicker from behind him.

"Right, anyway, as I was saying before Harry got back," the Doctor began, looking at one of the screens showing a news broadcast, "Ricky's got a car, so he can do some driving for us!"

Mickey gave a quiet sigh, "where to?"

"The roads are clearing, so let's go and have a look at that spaceship."

They all walked outside, directly into the spotlight of a police search helicopter, cars began to pull up and surround them.

"Do not move," one of the armed personnel ordered over the speakers in one of the vehicles, "Step away from the box and raise your hands above your heads."

Koschei held his hands out in front of him before he slowly raised them behind his head, Mickey ran off before he could be apprehended.

An older woman came running over and was held back by one of the armed personnel, screaming, _"Rose!"_ over and over.

Koschei assumed that this woman was Rose's mother from her frantic calls.

Three of the officers, soldiers really, walked up to them, one of them moved behind Koschei, grabbing his hands in a hold behind his back and walking off to one of the cars, he didn't fight, knowing it'd cause more problems than they needed at that moment.

"Raise your hands above your head, you are under arrest," he heard one of the other officer's order Rose and the Doctor.

"Take me to your leader," the Doctor responded.

Koschei snorted at the statement as he was pushed inside the vehicle.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

"This is a bit posh," Rose stated as they travelled along the roads, "if I knew it was going to be like this, being arrested I mean, I would have done it years ago."

"We're not being arrested," both Koschei and the Doctor said at the same time, the Doctor turned to look at him and he raised an eyebrow in question, he looked away and Koschei continued, "we're getting escorted."

"What, you been arrested before?" she asked him.

"Oh yes, multiple times."

Rose looked like she was going to ask him more questions, but he changed the subject.

"From what I saw on the news on the monitors when I got in, I can guess that we're going to Downing Street."

She perked up then, letting the matter drop, _"You're kidding!"_

The Doctor joined the conversation again, a grin on his face, "Nah, he's right."

"Number Ten? That Downing Street?"

"That's the one," Koschei agreed.

"Oh my god, I'm going to _Ten Downing Street?_ How come?" she asked.

The Doctor grimaced, and Koschei chuckled, knowing the answer.

"I ah, hate to say it, but Mickey was right, over the years I've visited this planet a lot of times-" he was interrupted by a snort from Koschei, who he threw a glare at before continuing, "-and I've been, er, noticed."

"What, so now they need you?"

"As it said on the news, they're gathering experts in alien knowledge, and who's the biggest expert of the lot?"

"Patrick Moore?"

"Apart from him."

"Oh, don't you just love it?"

"I'm telling you, Lloyd George, he used to drink me under the table," the Doctor chatted to Rose and Koschei turned to look out the window as they drove along, "Who's the Prime Minister now?"

"How should I know?" Rose asked, "I missed a year."

Koschei remembered the missing person poster he'd seen on the way back to the TARDIS, which he'd meant to bring up to them when he'd gotten back.

"I'm glad to see some things never change, no matter the universe," he commented, "including the Doctor's shit driving."

_"Oi!"_

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

"Oh, my god," Rose stated as they pulled up to number Ten.

They were all shuffled inside the building, and Koschei looked around, the décor was still as posh and polished as ever.

"Ladies and gentlemen, can we convene?" he heard someone speak, "quick as we can, please, it's this way, on the right, and could I remind you all that ID cards are to be worn at all times."

he walked over to the three of them and handed a card to the Doctor.

"Here's your ID card, I'm sorry but your companions don't have clearance."

Koschei could see the protective glint in the Doctor's eyes and intervened.

"We'll be alright on our own," he said, quickly realising there had been no talk of an NDA, "you can catch us both up with what's going on when you're done."

The Doctor looked ready to argue, but he cut him off before he could begin.

"The more time you spend arguing, the longer whatever is going wrong has to set their plan in motion, besides," he smirked, "I can protect the both of us in the case of an attack."

He let the sleeve of the purple flannel shirt he was wearing fall back a little, revealing a silver-coloured stick of wood.

The Doctor's eyes widened slightly, he watched as his eyes darted up to his forehead in surprise, as he connected the very few dots he'd been presented with.

Koschei hadn't used his wand in front of this Doctor before, so this was the first time he'd seen it, having been alone when casting the Incendio on the Gelth.

"I know what you're thinking, and yes, _I am."_

"Right," the Doctor mumbled to himself, _"right,_ okay," he then looked Koschei in the eyes, "don't get into any trouble."

He snorted, "that's _your_ job."

The Doctor nodded to Rose then left for the conference.

Koschei sighed and turned to Rose, who was standing with another woman.

"Sorry, I don't believe we've been introduced, have we?" he asked her, "my name is Harry Potter."

The woman blinked, "Harriet Jones."

Rose snickered from beside them, "hello Harry, I'm Harry," he heard her mutter.

From the look on Harriet's face, he thought she heard her too.

The three began walking out of the room and Koschei got the sense that she was herding them out for a reason.

"This friend of yours, the Doctor, he's an expert, correct?" she began, "knows about aliens?"

"Why do you want to know?" Rose asked.

The woman began crying and began telling them of how she'd seen one of the people who was temporarily in charge unzip themselves, then kill another man, turning his body into a suit.

They'd ended up in the cabinet room sometime during the story.

"It's alright," Rose began, rubbing between the woman's shoulder blades, "we believe you, it's got to be an alien, there must be some serious technology behind this, if we could find it then we might be able to use it."

Rose began looking through cupboards, Koschei, deciding that it was the best chance they had peered under the table, checking to make sure they'd not attached something to the underside of it.

"Oh my god," Rose cried out, just as he'd decided the table was clean, he carefully pulled himself out from under it and looked over in her direction, "is that the-"

She was cut off when the man who was giving out IDs walked into the room.

"Harriet, for God's sake, this has gone beyond a joke," he started, "You cannot just wander-" he cut himself off as he noticed the body which he'd failed to see when he'd first entered the room, "-Oh my god, that's the Prime Minister!"

The four of them all moved to where the body of the now ex-Prime Minister laid when a woman entered the room.

_"Oh!"_ she cried out, "has someone been _naughty?"_

They turned to look at her and the man? guard? honestly, he didn't care, but it was rather frustrating, not knowing a person's name looked back at the body, dismissing her as a threat.

Koschei knew otherwise, there was something just a bit off about her, with this in mind, he moved in front of Rose, he'd be damned if he let her get hurt, not after he'd said that he would make sure they were safe to the Doctor.

"That's impossible," the man said, "He left this afternoon, the Prime Minister left Downing Street!" he sounded frustrated, and the woman looked rather amused, "He was driven away!"

"And who told you that?" she asked him, and Koschei narrowed his eyes, _"me,"_ and with that last statement, they watched in horror, or in his case, disgust, as she reached up to her forehead and began unzipping herself.


	4. Chapter 4

Rose, Harriet and Koschei watched as the, now fully unzipped alien was suddenly enveloped in electricity and took the opportunity to run out of the cabinet room and into the corridor.

 _"Wait!"_ Harriet called out, "the emergency protocols are still in there, we need them!"

Koschei rolled his eyes as they began running back to the room, only to be stopped as the alien ran out of the room towards them.

The three of them ran throughout multiple rooms in the building, dodging the alien, who was breaking down doors and destroying furniture as she went.

They ended up back in a corridor, just as the lift opened, revealing the Doctor.

"Hello!" he called to them, then distracted the alien so they could make their escape.

Koschei heard the lift close again, just as they made it to a living room area.

 _"Hide!"_ Rose called, slipping behind a drink's cabinet.

Harriet slipped behind a window folding screen, and Koschei slipped into the rather obvious position of behind the sofa, not that he minded, it gave him a better view of the area in case he had to get _violent._

The alien entered the room and hummed, "oh, such fun," she began slowly walking around the room, "little human children, where are you?" she called out, and Koschei scowled, "sweet little ones, come to me, let me kiss you better! Kiss you with my _big green lips!"_

He saw Rose slip behind a curtain when she got too close to her spot.

Two other aliens entered the room soon after.

"My brothers!" she called to them.

"Happy hunting?" one of the two that had been identified as male asked her.

"It's wonderful," she confirmed, "the more you prolong it, the more they stink."

They all sniffed the air in unison.

"Sweat and fear," the other male agreed.

"I can smell an old girl, stale bird and brittle bones." the first male spoke.

"A ripe youngster, all hormones and adrenalin," the female said, "fresh enough to bend before she snaps."

"And an anomaly, both young and old at the same time," the second male spoke with wonder, "so _determined,_ a challenge to take out."

They'd failed to notice the female walk over to where Rose was hiding until she pulled back the curtain.

Within seconds, Koschei was stood up, wand drawn, pointed at the alien, at the same time, Harriet revealed herself.

 _"No!_ Take me first!" she cried out.

 _"Not Harry!"_ he felt as though the world was a bit further away than it should be.

"Take me!"

_"Please, not Harry!"_

Koschei opened his mouth to cast a spell but was interrupted by the Doctor bursting into the room, holding a fire extinguisher.

He was glad for this, as he had no idea of what he'd been intended to cast, something not nice for certain.

As he watched the Doctor spray one of the two males with the extinguisher, he realised that he felt heavy.

"Out with me!" he yelled at them, then when he saw Harriet, addressed her, "who the hell are you?"

"Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North."

"Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," he said, then sprayed what was left in the extinguisher into the room.

They then ran back out into the corridor, and Koschei was reminded of just how exhausting doing anything like this could be, seven years of no life-threatening situations had spoilt him, even if said seven years were in the late 1800s.

"We need to head to the cabinet room," the Doctor stated.

"Back and forth like a bloody yo-yo," Koschei muttered, Rose who was running next to him snorted, the Doctor made a noise that was half disapproval and half amusement.

"The Emergency Protocols are in there, they give instructions for aliens," Harriet spoke, pretending to have not heard his remark.

"Harriet Jones, I like you."

"And I like you too."

Once again, they focused on running from the aliens chasing them as they found their way back to the cabinet room.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

Koschei frowned and made his way to the drawers in the table as the Doctor stood in the doorway with a bottle of alcohol in hand, which he'd picked up from a side table.

Rose and Harriet stood behind him as he began talking to the aliens.

"One more move and my sonic device will triplicate the flammability of this alcohol," the Doctor bluffed, "whoof, and we'll all go up in flames, so back off."

Koschei forced himself into a partial meditation when he heard this, that was some of the _worst_ bullshit he'd ever heard come from his mouth, and it wouldn't do to burst out laughing, especially when the hostile aliens seemed to believe it, and had even backed off.

"Right then," the Doctor started, not moving a muscle, "question time, who exactly are the Slitheen?"

Koschei blinked from where he was stood, he'd found the file a few seconds prior, he'd been about to flick through to see if there was anything useful.

"They're aliens," Harriet spoke.

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock," Koschei spoke up, "but in all seriousness, that sounds like a family name."

Harriet and Rose began talking about the Doctor's non-human status, as the Doctor tried thinking.

"Can I have a bit of hush?" he asked.

The two continued, so Koschei, feeling more than a little bit grumpy hit the two with a silencing spell.

They looked surprised as they found their voices suddenly gone and pressed their hands against their throats as though they'd been mortally wounded.

 _"Thank you,_ now then, you've got a spaceship hidden in the North Sea," he began, and Koschei tuned him out to flick through the files.

He jumped slightly when metal doors closed across the windows and doors, keeping them safe, but trapped.

"Installed in 1991," he heard the Doctor say, "three inches of steel lining every single wall, they'll never get in."

"And how do we get out?" Rose asked the very obvious hole in the plan.

 _"Ah,"_ the Doctor muttered in realisation.

Koschei thought the expression on his face at that moment was rather _cute._

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

"These protocols won't do shit now," Koschei commented as the Doctor dragged a dead body into a storage room.

He looked down at the papers, pointedly ignoring the exchange between the Doctor and the recently unsilenced Rose and Harriet.

"What do you mean?" Rose asked.

"All the people you'd bring in to put these protocols into effect? Laying downstairs, _dead."_

"What about defence codes? Can't we just launch a nuclear bomb at them?" she asked.

"No, those codes are kept by the United Nations."

"Could you clarify?" the Doctor asked him.

"Sure, Britain's got a pretty fucked history with big explosives, as such no-one wanted to trust the government with the access codes, the UN hold onto them and if the British government wants to get hold of the codes they have to petition the UN."

"How do you know all of that?" Harriet asked him.

"I was bored," he stated, it was true, but it wasn't like he could tell her that he'd learnt it all in another universe.

"I-" she cut herself off and shook her head, turning to face the paperwork laid out in front of him, "if only we knew what they wanted."

"Yeah," Rose frowned, "what _do_ they want?"

The conversation continued for a few more minutes until Rose's phone buzzed, on the screen was a picture sent by Mickey of another Slitheen.

What followed was a phone call that _probably_ put Mickey and Rose on some kind of watchlist.

Koschei couldn't make out the other side of the conversation, but Rose was frantically asking for her mother to be put on to check up on her before the Doctor whisked it away.

"Is that Ricky?" he asked, "don't talk, just shut up and go to your computer."

There was a pause as Mickey responded on the other end of the line.

"Mickey the Idiot, I might just choke before I finish this sentence, but, _uhm,_ I need you."

Koschei, Rose, and Harriet watched as the Doctor fiddled with some wires while talking Mickey through hacking the UNIT website, he finally plugged it in, and the sound began coming through the speakers.

"Say again?" the Doctor asked him to repeat himself.

"It's asking for the password."

"Buffalo, two Fs and one L."

Koschei rolled his eyes, he seemed to be doing that a lot lately, but the password was the same as the one from his universe, and he knew for a fact that the password had been in use for a very long time, extremely unsecure in his own opinion.

He tuned out the conversation from there, not having anything to contribute, and then one of the Slitheen began breaking into Mickey's flat.

"If we're going to find their weakness, we need to figure out where they're from, which planet," the Doctor began, he seemed calm on the outside, but Koschei could see the real panic in his eyes.

"Judging by their basic shape, it narrows down to five thousand planets within travelling distance," he frowned, "what else do we know about them?" he asked, "any information!"

"They're green!" Rose called.

"Narrows it down."

"Good sense of smell."

"Narrows it down."

"They can smell adrenalin."

"Narrows it down."

"The pig technology," Harriet added in.

Koschei sat back in his chair, hands steepled under his chin as he attempted to think of anything else useful or any alien species that he knew that fit the description.

"Narrows it down," the Doctor continued.

"The spaceship in the Thames," Rose hesitated, "you said slipstream engine?"

"Narrows it down."

"It's getting in!" came a panicked shout from the phone.

"They hunt like it's a ritual!"

"Narrows it down."

"Wait a minute," Harriet began, "did you notice? when they fart, if you'll pardon the word, it doesn't smell like a fart, if you'll pardon the word, it's something else," she frowned, "what is it? it's more like, well, _erhm."_

"Bad breath!" Rose cried.

"That's it!"

"Calcium decay, now _that_ narrows it down!" the Doctor cried.

"We're getting there, Mum!" Rose yelled.

 _"Too late!"_ Mickey screeched.

"Calcium phosphate, organic calcium, _living calcium,"_ the Doctor murmured, "creatures made out of living calcium, what else? _what else?_ a hyphenated surname? _yes!_ that narrows it down to one planet!"

The Doctor turned and marched to the phone.

"Raxacoricofallapatorius."

"Oh yeah, great, we'll write them a letter," Mickey snarked.

"Go into the kitchen."

They waited for a few minutes as Mickey and Rose's mum ran into the kitchen and barricaded themselves inside of it.

"My god, it's going to tear us apart."

"Calcium, weakened by a compression field, acetic acid, _vinegar!"_

"Just like Hannibal!" Harriet exclaimed.

 _"Just like Hannibal,"_ the Doctor agreed, "Mickey, have you got any vinegar?"

"How should I know?"

"It's _your_ kitchen."

"Cupboard, by the sink, middle shelf," Rose interjected.

"Oh, give it here!" Rose's mother came through, "what do you need?"

"Anything with vinegar!" the Doctor informed her.

"Gherkins," she muttered, "yeah, pickled onions, pickled eggs."

Koschei made a face of disgust at the listed items.

"And you _kiss_ this man?" the Doctor asked Rose.

About a minute later, a loud fart was heard across the line, followed by a rather loud bang.

"Hannibal?" Rose asked aloud.

"Hannibal crossed the Alps by dissolving boulders with vinegar," Harriet informed her.

"Oh, well, there you go then."

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

They sat in the locked room, waiting for the next big thing to rear its head, sipping at the alcohol that the Doctor had threatened the Slitheen with when Mickey spoke again.

"Listen to this."

The phone was then held up near either a TV or radio, and they all listened in.

"Our inspectors have searched the sky above our heads," Koschei recognised the voice as one of the Slitheen that had been hunting them, "And they have found massive weapons of destruction capable of being deployed within forty-five seconds."

 _"What?"_ the Doctor questioned.

"Our technicians can baffle the alien probes, but not for long. We are facing extinction unless we strike first, the United Kingdom stands directly beneath the belly of the mothership, and I beg the United Nations to pass an emergency resolution, to give us the access codes," he paused, seemingly gathering his resolve, to give the severity of the situation time to sink in, it was false of course, but _effective,_ "A nuclear strike at the heart of the beast is our only chance of survival because from this moment on it is my solemn duty to inform you that Earth is at war."

"He's making it up," the Doctor began rambling, "There's no weapons up there, there's no threat, he just invented it."

"Of course they are, this is quite obviously planned, they've been here for a long time by the sounds of things," Koschei spoke.

"Do you think they'll believe him?" Harriet asked, and he was _very_ tempted to let her know just how gullible humans could be but held his tongue.

"They did last time," Rose spoke.

"That's why the Slitheen went for spectacle," the Doctor said, "they want the whole world panicking, because you lot, you get scared, you lash out."

"They release the defence code," Rose realised.

"And the Slitheen go nuclear."

"But _why?"_ Harriet questioned.

The Doctor walked to the door and opened the shutters, Koschei walked over to stand behind him, ready in case they decided to attack.

"You get the codes, release the missiles, but not into space because there's nothing there," the Doctor began, "you attack every other country on Earth, they retaliate and fight back and it's World War Three, the whole planet gets nuked."

"And we can sit through it, safe in our spaceship waiting in the Thames, not crashed, just parked, only two minutes away," the female Slitheen informed them.

"But you'll destroy the planet!" Harriet exclaimed, "this beautiful place, _what for?"_

 _"Profit,"_ the Doctor informed harshly, "that's what the signal is beaming into space, an advert."

"The sale of a century, we reduce the Earth to molten slag, then we sell it piece by piece. Radioactive chunks capable of powering every cut-price star-liner and budget cargo ship, there's a recession out there Doctor, and the people are buying cheap, this rock will become raw fuel."

"At the cost of five billion lives."

Koschei felt rather offended for two reasons, really, because on the one hand his newest life had been born on an Earth, not this one, but a similar one nonetheless, and on the other, the part of him that was still the Master knew that Earth had far more _potential_ than just _junk_ fuel.

"Bargain," she commanded.

"I give you a choice, leave this planet or I will stop you," the Doctor said.

"What, you? Trapped here in your box?" she laughed.

"Yes," he snapped, _"me."_

With that, he shut the shutters once more.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

They had been stuck in that damned room for an entire night at that point, Koschei was stood in the corner, away from everyone else while smoking, after all, it was rude to breathe the smoke into other people's faces.

The Doctor had taken one look at his packet of cigarettes and asked him not to smoke in the TARDIS, which was fair enough, Harriet had rolled her eyes and gone back to writing something on a piece of paper, and Rose kept staring at him as though he'd spontaneously grown a second, third, and forth head.

"What?" he finally asked her.

"It's just I didn't take you for a smoker," she admitted.

He just shrugged and put the end out in an ashtray he'd found in the storage room, which still contained dead bodies.

"Lots of people smoke, I grew up in the 80s and 90s, it was quite normal then, you understand?"

"Yeah, I sort of remember my mum talking about it when I was younger," she said.

There was a lull in the conversation and Koschei took the time to walk back over to the table, just in time to hear Rose's mother, who he'd learnt was called Jackie over the night, talk.

"Alright Doctor, I'm not saying I trust you, but there must be something you can do."

"If we could ferment the port, we could make acetic acid," Harriet suggested.

"Mickey, any luck?" Rose asked.

"There's loads of emergency numbers, but they're all on voicemail," he stated.

"Voicemail dooms us all," Harriet sighed.

There was silence for a moment.

"There's a way out," the Doctor stated.

 _"What?"_ Rose asked.

"There's always been a way out."

"Then why don't we use it?"

"Because I can't guarantee your daughter will be safe," he directed this towards Jackie.

"Don't you dare," she hissed, "Whatever it is, _don't you dare."_

"That's the thing," the Doctor sighed, and Koschei could see the pure regret and pain in his eyes that he tried to hide, "if I don't dare, _everyone_ dies."

The statement caused everyone to fall silent as they remembered that this wasn't just a small group in trouble, but the entire world.

 _"Do it,"_ Rose demanded.

"You don't even know what it is, you'd just let me?" he asked her in surprise.

"Yeah."

"Please," Jackie begged, "Doctor, _please,_ she's my daughter, she's just a kid."

"You think I don't know that?" he snapped, "this is my life, Jackie, it's not fun, it's not smart, it's just standing up and making a decision because nobody else _will!"_

"Then what are you waiting for?" Rose challenged.

The Doctor sighed, suddenly looking far older, "I could save the world but lose you," he looked over at Koschei, "and I did promise you that I'd at least try and get you back home."

Koschei shrugged, "honestly, Doctor, I knew something like this would happen," he could tell his words surprised him, at least a little, "as many things that there are different, there are many the same."

The Doctor stared at him for a moment, and he could see the beginnings of comprehension appear in his eyes.

"What are you seeing?" he asked him, almost softly, he didn't expect a response and he didn't get one, they stood there, staring at each other for a moment before Harriet interrupted them.

"Sorry to cut this short," she said, but obviously was not, "but back on the subject at hand, this decision is not _yours_ to make, Doctor, it's _mine."_

"Who the hell are you?" Jackie demanded.

The moment was forgotten as they all went back to what they were doing.

"Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North," she spoke with authority in her voice, "the _only_ elected representative in this room, chosen by the people for the people, and on behalf of the people, I command you, _do it."_

"How do we get out?" Rose asked.

"We _don't,"_ the Doctor said, grabbing the emergency protocols, "we stay here."

The Doctor then gave Mickey instructions on how to hack the Royal Navy.

"Use the buffalo password, it overrides everything."

"What are you doing?" Jackie asked.

"Hacking into the Royal Navy," Mickey seemed rather excited to share that fact, honestly, "we're in, here it is, HMS Taurean, Trafalgar Class submarine, ten miles off the coast of Plymouth."

"Right, now we need to select a missile," the Doctor instructed.

"We can't go nuclear; we don't have the defence codes."

"We don't need it, an ordinary missile will do, what's the first category?"

"It's uh, a Sub Harpoon, _erm,_ UGM-A4A."

"That's the one, select it."

"I could stop you," Jackie commented.

"Do it then," Mickey said.

The Doctor took a deep breath and continued his instructions, "are you ready for this?"

"Yeah."

"Well then, Mickey the Idiot, the world is now officially in your hands."

There was a short moment of silence as everyone seemed to prepare themselves.

 _"Fire,"_ the Doctor commanded.

"Oh my god," Jackie whimpered as she saw the missile launched on the satellite imagery.

"How solid are these?" Harriet asked while tapping on the walls.

"Not solid enough," the Doctor informed, "built for a short-range attack, nothing this big."

"Alright," Rose butted in, "now I'm making the decision, I'm not going to die, we're going to ride this one out, it's like what they say about earthquakes, you can survive them by standing under a doorframe," she walked over to the cupboard, "now this cupboard's small, so it's strong, come and help me."

She began dragging things out of the _cupboard,_ and Koschei had a moment to panic before he forced himself to calm, panicking would do nothing good in this situation, he could have a good old panic once they were safe.

 _"Come on!"_ she encouraged, and he walked over with Harriet to help remove the junk from it.

"It's on the radar," Mickey's voice was heard, "counter defence five, five, six."

"Stop them from intercepting it."

"I'm doing it now."

"Good boy."

Koschei snorted, "he's not a _dog,_ Doctor," he called out while hauling a box of papers out of the room.

There was an answering snort before their attentions were once again swallowed by their tasks.

"Five, five, six neutralised."

The Doctor unplugged the phone and walked over to the cupboard, where the last box had just been removed, they all then piled inside it, huddling down as best they could.

"Here we go," Harriet spoke, as the sound of the descending missile approached, "nice knowing you all, Hannibal!"

The next thing Koschei knew, the building was violently shaking, then they were being tossed about.

When it finally stopped, the Doctor pushed the door off.

Harriet stepped out, a little shaky in the legs, and muttered, "made in Britain."

"Oh my god, are you alright?" someone questioned from off to the side, as Rose, the Doctor, and Koschei all managed to untangle themselves and make their own ways out of the cupboard.

"Harriet Jones, MP, Flydale North," she informed him, "I want you to contact the UN immediately, tell the ambassadors that the crisis is over, they can step down," when he hesitated, she added, "go on, tell the news!"

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed.

"Someone's got a hell of a job sorting this lot out," Harriet muttered, "oh lord, we don't even have a Prime Minister."

"Maybe you should have a go," the Doctor suggested.

 _"Me?_ well I'm only a back-bencher."

"I'd vote for ya," Rose informed her.

"If I had any legal documents, I would too," Koschei freely admitted, earning himself an elbow in the ribs from the Doctor.

She looked shocked, "Don't be silly now," she shook her head and looked around, "look, I'd better go and see if I can help," sirens filled the air, and she called out, _"hang on!"_ and began leading their way out from the rubble, "we're safe, the Earth is safe," she called.

They ran down the road towards where the sirens came from, and Harriet called out to one of the armed personnel, _"sergeant!"_

"I thought I knew the name," the Doctor began conversationally as they walked past an ambulance, "Harriet Jones," they paused and watched the woman walk down the street, "future Prime Minister, elected for three successive terms, the architect of Britain's golden age."

"The crisis has passed!" she called for everyone to hear.

They then walked off, back towards where Jackie lived and where the TARDIS was parked, the sound of Harriet's speech to the news echoing down the streets behind them.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

Koschei and the Doctor both went back to the TARDIS, while Rose went to reassure her mother that she was fine.

"I think I need a shower and a whole week of sleep," he joked.

"What, no food?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, that too," he sighed and reached down to one of the bags which he'd left at the console before their adventure, and pulled out a book, "were you aware that I appear to be a book character here?"

The Doctor sighed and shook his head, "I didn't really think about the possibility of magic existing in your original universe until I saw your wand," he frowned a little, "your behaviour doesn't strike me as someone who'd end up in Gryffindor, from the traits that were described in the books anyways."

Koschei snorted, "Gryffindor? _me?_ Hermione may be like a sister to me, but I honestly don't understand how she puts up with her housemates, patience of a _saint,_ that one," he shook his head in amusement, "no, I was sorted to Ravenclaw."

"The smart house?"

 _"The smart house,_ but it's not what it seems, not really."

The Doctor nodded but didn't ask for him to elaborate.

"So, a wizard, huh?"

"Yes."

The Doctor grinned.

"You best show us some hocus pocus then!"

Koschei gave a startled laugh.

"Sure, sure."


	5. Chapter 5

Koschei gave a loud groan as he was thrown to the floor from where he'd been sat on a railing as the TARDIS landed.

"I told you not to sit on there," the Doctor huffed at him from where he was stood at the console.

He looked over at him and stuck his tongue out, ignoring the laughter coming from Rose's general direction, "But where else am I supposed to sit?"

The Doctor gestured at a set of chairs off to the side, where Rose was sat.

 _"Me,_ sit on a _chair?"_ he gasped dramatically, "What do you take me for, a normal person?"

He heard Rose gasp for air as she tried to control her laughter, leaning against the back of the chair.

He watched as the Doctor rolled his eyes and turned to look back at the console with a frown.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know," his frown deepened as he looked at some readings on one of the upper screens, "It seems as though there is some kind of signal just pulling the TARDIS off her course."

Koschei frowned and walked towards the door, cautiously pulling it open and peering out the crack it opened, before pulling it open wide, revealing a dimly lit room filled with display cases, "Looks like some kind of a museum."

Rose and the Doctor both walked up behind him, also taking a look at the room before they all walked out into the space.

"So, where are we?" Rose asked.

"North America," the Doctor responded, "Utah to be exact, and, oh, about a half-mile underground."

"And, when?"

"Two-thousand and twelve," he stated, "Twenty-twelve, people thought the world would end this year, you know."

"Good old Mayans," Koschei joked.

The Doctor looked at him, an unreadable expression on his face before he turned to find the light switch, quickly flicking it on once it had been found.

"So, I'd be, what, twenty-six?" Rose muttered, considering.

Koschei walked over to one of the display cases along the side of the room, peering into it while listening to their conversation.

"An alien museum," the Doctor hummed, "Well, someone's got a hobby, must have cost a fortune," he heard the tapping of his shoes as he walked along the rows, "Chunks of meteorite, moon dust," he paused in his walking, "Oh that, now that's the milometer from the Roswell spaceship."

"Hey, look at this," Rose started, "It's a bit of Slitheen!"

Koschei peered over the case he was looking at to look at the one she was stood in front of.

"It's a Slitheen's arm and it's been stuffed!"

"Oh, now look at you!"

"What is it?" Rose asked, walking to where the Doctor had found the severed head of an old Cyberman.

"An old friend of mine," he muttered, "Well, an enemy at least, the stuff of nightmares this," he took a shaky breath and let out a sigh, "I'm getting _old."_

Both Rose and Koschei stared at him for a moment, before Rose broke the strange silence that had settled over them, "Is that where the signal is coming from then?"

"No," he denies, "It's dead, gone, the signal is alive, something is reaching out and calling for help."

The Doctor reached out to touch the case, which set off an alarm, which, unsurprisingly caused the room to be swarmed with armed guards.

"Well, here we go again," Koschei muttered.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

The three of them were taken to an office, where they saw a young man showing an older man a musical instrument.

"What does it do?"

"Well, you see the tubes on the side? I think it must channel something, possibly fuel."

And of course, they had absolutely no idea what they had, Koschei rolled his eyes.

"I really wouldn't hold it like that," the Doctor announced.

 _"Shut it,"_ the woman who had escorted them in hissed at him.

"Really though, that's wrong."

The younger man turned to look at him, "Is it dangerous?"

"No, it just looks silly."

Koschei cracked a grin, and the Doctor reached for the instrument, ignoring the clicks of the guns around him as he did so, the older man handed it over.

"You just need to be delicate," he stated, before stroking it, producing a rather nice sound.

"It's a musical instrument," the older man stated.

"And it's a long way from home."

"Here," the man reached out for the instrument, which the Doctor released back to him, "Let me."

The notes that were produced were harsher, as he dragged his fingers along it, digging them in slightly, Koschei shared a grimacing look with Rose.

"I did say delicate," the Doctor interrupted, "It reacts to the slightest of touch."

He let up his fingers, allowing them to graze the surface ever so slightly, producing much nicer sounds.

"Very good, quite an expert," the Doctor congratulated.

"As are you," he acknowledged, then tossed the instrument to the side.

Koschei winced, knowing that for such an airy instrument, it was most likely broken from how it had impacted the floor.

"So, who are you, exactly?"

"I'm the Doctor, and who are you?"

"Like you don't know," he huffed, "We're hidden away with the most valuable collection of extraterrestrial artefacts in the world and you just stumbled in by mistake."

"Yeah, that's about right," Koschei muttered.

"Pretty much sums it up, yeah," the Doctor said at the same time.

"The question now is, how did you get in? Fifty-three floors down, with your little accomplices," he gave both Koschei and Rose a once-over, "You're quite a collector yourself, she's rather pretty, and he's quite cute."

"She's going to smack you if you keep calling her 'she'," Rose huffed.

"And he's not going to be held responsible for what happens to your… _little neighbour…_ if you call him _'cute'_ again," Koschei snarked.

"And they're English too! Hey, little Lord Fauntleroy, got you a girlfriend," he paused and looked over at Koschei, "And a boyfriend too if you're into that."

 _"Not interested,"_ Koschei interrupted quickly, "I've got someone waiting for me at home."

He could see from the corner of his eye as the Doctor gave him a sad look, and he felt his stomach drop slightly, as he remembered how he'd left his own Doctor, all for a spur of the moment idea, it had been such a… _Doctor_ thing to do, he wondered if he questioned what had happened to him?

Did he think he was dead?

He took a shuddering gasp and shook his head, now was not the time for those thoughts, he quickly wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve, drying the tears which had gathered there.

"This is Mister Henry van Statten," the young man introduced him.

"And who's he when he's at home?" Rose questioned.

"Mister van Statten owns the internet."

"Don't be stupid," Rose scoffed, "No-one owns the internet."

"And let's just keep the whole world thinking that way, right kids?" van Statten clapped his hands together.

"So, you're just about an expert in everything, except for the things in your museum," the Doctor puzzled out, "Anything you don't understand you lock up."

"And you claim greater knowledge?"

"I don't need to make claims, I know how good I am."

"And yet I captured you, right next to the cage," he mused, "What were you doing down there?"

"You tell me."

"That cage," he paused dramatically, "It contains my one living specimen."

"And what's that?"

"Like you don't know."

"Show me."

 _"Blimey,"_ Rose hissed towards Koschei, "You can _smell_ the testosterone."

He hummed, awkwardly shifting where he stood, he'd forgotten that the Doctor being confrontational was rather… _attractive._

"Goddard, inform the cage we're heading down," he ordered, "You, English, look after those two, go and canoodle or spoon or whatever it is you all do, and you, Doctor with no name, come and see my pet."

Koschei felt as though something bad was about to happen and interrupted, he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, "I go with the Doctor," he straightened his back and put on his best _'I dare you to defy my will'_ face, a stony expression with a steely glare.

Van Statten attempted to stare him down, but he just lifted his chin and allowed a small amount of his magic to penetrate the air, the lights flickered for a moment and then he looked away from Koschei.

 _"Very well,"_ he grit out harshly.

"And _you,"_ Koschei turned to face the young man, who had not been named in this whole time, the same expression on his face, he jabbed his finger at him, "If anything happens to her, it's your head."

He gulped and nodded quickly, and Koschei relaxed, the expression melting off his face just as quick as it had been put there, the Doctor was staring at him strangely, and he understood that it had been quite a sight to behold.

"Let's go then," he huffed out.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

"We've tried everything, the creature has shielded itself, but there are definite signs of life inside."

"Inside?" the Doctor questioned, "Inside what?"

The question was ignored, and one of the workers greeted van Statten.

"Welcome back sir, I've had to turn the power down, the Metaltron is resting."

_"Metaltron?"_

"Thought of it myself," the man bragged, "Good, isn't it? Although I would much prefer to find out its real name."

"Here," the man who worked for van Statten offered a pair of metallic gloves, "You'd best put these on, the last guy that touched it burst into flames."

"I won't touch it then," the Doctor denied the gloves, and the man turned to offer them to Koschei, who just shook his head.

"Go ahead, Doctor," van Statten gestured to the open doorway, "Impress me."

Both the Doctor and Koschei walked into the darkened room, the door slamming shut behind them, Koschei swore as he heard the lock click, and walked over to see if he could do anything about it while the Doctor investigated this 'Metaltron'.

"DOC-TOR?"

Koschei felt his stomach turn to ice, and spun around just in time to see the lights come on and reveal…

He froze where he stood, completely unable to move as he stared at that thing.

The _Dalek._

Out of the corner of his eyes, he could swear there was fire.

"EXTERMINATE!"

He breathed in through his nose and coughed, he could smell smoke.

"I DEMAND ORDERS!"

He was aware that he appeared to be missing most of the conversation but couldn't find it in himself to care as he attempted to control his breathing.

_In._

_Out._

"AND THE COWARD SURVIVED."

_In._

_Out._

They'd caused so much destruction and he'd ran from it all, just like his Doctor had run so long ago…

"HAVE PITY!"

He felt someone guide him out of the room, looking at the person from the corner of his eye, he noted that it was the Doctor, who was also being guided by another person.

"I take it you've met them before?" the Doctor asked him.

He just nodded, words escaping him for the moment.

He could freely admit to himself now that they scared him, and not just because of what they could do, but because of what they meant to him.

It had been _that_ war that had caused his inevitable fall into insanity, from his resurrection, to the drums, his fleeing to the end of the universe, and finally…

The image of a large, sharp kitchen knife flowed into his mind, along with his Doctor's screams.

He shook his head and managed to get himself back with his surroundings, just in time to hear the same woman who'd taken them to van Statten's office speak.

"You mentioned a war?"

"The Time War," the Doctor reluctantly admitted, "The final battle between my people and the Dalek race."

Koschei grasped the Doctor's hand loosely, offering what little support he could, knowing the conversation must be difficult for him, he was rewarded with a small grateful smile as van Statten continued.

"But you survived too."

"Not by choice."

"This means that the Dalek isn't the only alien on Earth, Doctor" van Statten had a very contemplative look on his face as he stared at the Doctor, and Koschei had a bad feeling.

"And you're the only one of your kind in existence."

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

Koschei found himself separated from the Doctor very quickly after that, and was thrown into a simple holding cell, which had a single tiny, barred window, the creakiest bed frame hanging from the wall, a toilet, and a sink.

So, not the _worst_ place he'd ever been in, but he'd take UNIT's holding cells over this one any day.

He eyed up the guard who was stationed outside, taking note of his equipment, he'd been kitted out as though he was in the military, and yet there was one thing that all these people were susceptible to and had not been prepared for.

_Magic._

"Well," he started pleasantly, causing the guard to startle and aim his gun at him, Koschei just stared at it as though it were a toy, "Certainly not the worst place I've been, but I've places to go, people to see," he walked to the door and pulled his wand out, _"Alohomora,"_ he stepped through, pointing his wand at the man, "You know how it is, _Accio gun."_

He grabbed the gun from the air, quickly looking it over and pointing it casually at the man.

"Put your hands behind your head and get on your knees," he smiled pleasantly at him as he did so.

"Do you… even know how to _use_ that thing?" the man questioned nervously as Koschei tied him to the metal supports of the bed.

"I know how to use a," he paused, looking at the gun to quickly pin the type, "submachine gun, if that's what you mean," he finished tying the man up and walked out of the cell, locking it behind him.

He quickly put the safety on, not wanting to accidentally shoot himself in the face or foot or something equally as ridiculous.

Koschei looked up at the ceiling as someone announced for all guards to head to the Dalek's cage.

"Well, suppose I should be going," he looked back at the tied-up guard, "Good luck!"

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

Perhaps running down random corridors aimlessly while trying to get past numerous guards rushing to a single location wasn't a great idea, but honestly, what else was he supposed to do? Sit around and wait for someone to find him?

No, it was more likely that the damn thing would get to him and kill him first, so he had to keep moving.

It was simple, really, to just blank out and let his body do the moving, a soldier marching to the end, wherever that may be, the gun was out in front of him, ready to fire if necessary.

Left, right, left, right.

_Thump-thump, thump-thump._

A pattern that no longer existed echoed across his mind as he moved, keep going, don't let it get you.

Don't let it get _them._

"Harry?" Rose's voice echoed from above him, he tilted his head in the direction of her voice and saw her on some stairs, "The Doctor says we need to get to level forty-six, the vault is being sealed off."

He nodded, and scrambled after her, following as they quickly made their way to the door, Koschei taking the rear.

They reached level forty-six, and ran along the corridor, rounding the corner, only to see that the door was closing, Adam, which was the English boy's name, ran as quick as he could and got out, and tried to encourage them, Koschei grit his teeth and pushed Rose's back, picking up the pace and shoving her through, just in time.

Rose was safe.

Koschei laughed loudly as the Dalek came around the corner.

He turned and stood, back straight, gun steady, wand at the ready.

It looked at him, and he stared at it.

"You know," he started, almost conversationally, "I've always wondered if you lot can…" he lowered the gun, quickly raising his wand instead, _"Crucio."_

The Dalek screamed in pain, not a very pleasant sound, but he did not let up.

"STOP," it cried out, attempting to aim its blaster at him, yet missing spectacularly when it fired.

A cruel grin plastered itself on his face.

_"Beg."_

"PLEASE."

Ah, so they could.

"Please… _what?"_

"PLEASE STOP THE PAIN," it fired its blaster once more, hitting the ceiling.

"Hm, better," he admitted, and let his spell drop, quickly aiming the wand in its direction again.

"Try and shoot me, and I'll make it feel _far worse_ than that."

It seemed to weigh his words, before lowering its weapon.

He kept a watch on it through the corner of his eye as he turned to look at the door, luckily the thing seemed to have a brain rattling about in there, as it took his threat for the truth that it was and didn't attempt to do anything to incur his wrath.

There was a screen attached to the door, likely for communicating with the outside should something happen.

He kept one hand levelled at the Dalek with his wand, while he turned the machine on, and luckily for him, there was still an ID card lodged into the side of it, so he wouldn't need to put any of his _questionable_ computer skills to the test.

He quickly opened a communication link with the main office, just in time to see Rose burst into tears.

"Hey now, none of that," he chastised her.

"Harry, you're okay!" she cried out before she saw what was behind him, "Look out!"

He lazily turned his head to face the Dalek, moving his wand slightly in front of its… whatever it was it used to see with, and, while not moving, he got the impression that it had flinched.

"Apparently it does not like to be tasered, _who knew?"_

He and his Doctor had managed to figure out that the _Crucio_ curse had an electrical current, a few tests later and it was discovered that it was sending multiple volts through the body, at just high enough of a voltage to cause unbearable pain and possible nerve damage.

During those seven years alone, he had managed to figure out that a person could actually change the voltage if they tried hard enough.

So, he wasn't wrong when he'd said that he tasered the damn thing.

"Open the bulkhead," the Doctor ordered, and Koschei sighed, "We'll work something out to stop the Dalek, but I won't let him stay there!"

He sighed once more when he heard the pistons begin to release, then turned to face the Dalek.

He slowly stepped backwards out past the doors, keeping his wand level at the thing, and stood still once he'd gotten out, it wasn't long before he could hear footsteps heading down the hall.

Rose, the Doctor, van Statten, the lady from the office, the Adam kid, and two guards, only one of which was armed, came marching into sight.

The Doctor, van Statten, and the armed guard that he didn't know the name of were all holding guns, a bad feeling once more came over him as they aimed at the Dalek.

He was proven right when van Statten, instead of shooting the Dalek, shot _him._

Koschei stumbled, quickly stashing his wand in a pocket on the inside of his jacket, then placed as much pressure as he could on the wound in his shoulder with his shaking hand.

He was lucky he hadn't shot anywhere important, but there was a _lot_ of blood.

There was a lot of yelling and someone was helping him apply pressure to the wound, the world around him began to spin, and he only vaguely registered that Rose, the Dalek, and the Doctor had gone off somewhere.

Van Statten was being restrained.

He didn't know how long he sat there, but he did know that he was soon being led away from the area, the smell of his own blood became too much to handle, and halfway to their destination, he threw up, which only served to make him dizzier.

Their destination turned out to be the TARDIS and the person who had been leading him there was the Doctor.

He'd never even noticed that the person helping him had changed.

Unsurprisingly he was led to the med bay, where he was laid on the bed, he had a moment to watch as the Doctor stumbled about, grabbing medical equipment before he succumbed to unconsciousness.


	6. Chapter 6

Koschei wasn't expecting much when he finally woke up from his unconscious state.

He was expecting his wound to be completely healed, thanks to the technology available, which was a correct assumption, it was a little sore to move, but otherwise completely fine, albeit with a new bullet-shaped scar where it had pierced his skin.

He was expecting to have missed a few days, and likely a few adventures, again, correct, if the date on the screen, helpfully in English, not that he needed it to be, near him was any indication.

He was expecting to be wearing the _horrible_ far too smooth hospital robes that come pre-prepared on each TARDIS, again correct, and a quick scan of the room showed his wand and very broken Time-Turner sat neatly on the side table.

Everything else that was important to him, had been left in the bedroom that the TARDIS had kindly supplied him, and he was very glad that he'd decided to keep his belongings on board at the time.

What he did not expect to wake up to was a _Mauve Alert._

"Fucking hell," he gazed pleadingly at the ceiling, _"Please_ tell me I have time to shower and change?"

The lights blinked once in confirmation and he gave a relieved sigh, "Wonderful."

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

Koschei stumbled into the control room, looking about as lights flashed, he managed to catch a glimpse at one of the screens facing the inside door which showed an unidentifiable ship as they chased it through the Vortex.

"So, what we got?" he questioned aloud, causing the Doctor to smack his head on one of the overhead monitors in surprise.

 _"Harry!"_ he called, "You really shouldn't be up!"

He rolled his eyes and walked down to the console, standing next to Rose and peering at the screen.

"It was just a little bullet wound, nothing that bad."

"Nothing that bad?" Rose cried out, hitting his opposite shoulder carefully, "There was so much blood, Harry, I thought…"

He conceded that it may have looked life-threatening to someone who'd never been in a situation like that in the past.

"It would have been bad if it had hit anywhere important, my heart, or a lung for example, but it was my shoulder," he shrugged, awkwardly accepting a hug from the distraught young woman.

The Doctor stared at him for a moment, worry hidden in his eyes, but clear as day to him, and he felt touched.

"I'm fine, honestly," the Doctor appeared sceptic of his claims, "Look, I'll stay in or near the TARDIS if that makes you feel any better if we're on Earth, the worst place I'll go is a pub, have a couple of drinks, I won't push myself, promise."

He nodded and turned back to the screens, "I'll hold you to that."

And then they were off, chasing after some random ship or another, alarms blaring.

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

When they came to a stop, Rose was the first one out of the door, opening to reveal an alleyway.

"Lovely scenery," he commented, jokingly, earning an elbow to the ribs for his efforts, far lighter than it would normally be, due to his now non-existent injury.

"Do you know how long you can hang about space without bumping into Earth, or at the very least a human-controlled planet?"

"Five days?" Rose joked, "Or is that just when we run out of milk?"

"Out of all the species in the Universe and it has to be from a cow," the Doctor grumbled, before clapping his hands together, "Well, the ship must have come down somewhere close, within a mile I'd say."

Koschei leaned against the doorframe as the Doctor pondered.

"It also can't have been more than a few weeks ago, possibly a month."

 _"A month?"_ Rose questioned in surprise, "We were just behind it!"

"Yes, but it was jumping time tracks all over the place!" he announced, and Koschei bit back a snort.

 _Time tracks, h_ _onestly._

"We're bound to be a little bit off course," he turned to face her with a serious look on his face, "Do _you_ want to drive?"

"Yeah, _no,"_ she denied, smart girl, "How much is a little bit, exactly?"

"Oh, you know, a bit."

_"I see."_

Her face was full of doubt and Koschei couldn't help but give a snort at it.

"Right, you two, go find that ship and inevitably save London, again," he turned to face the Doctor, "If I'm not here I'll be at the pub," he nodded to the sign just off the alleyway announcing a _White Hart_ pub for all to see.

And with that, he wondered back inside the TARDIS, shutting the door as he went.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

Koschei's room aboard the TARDIS was a rather interesting blend of chaotic and organised.

There were books stacked upon books in massive wonky piles, blankets were thrown about the place, an overfilled bin filled with discarded blueprints and ideas.

Clothes stuck out of his drawers where he hadn't properly folded them to put them away.

There was a large plush sofa, which took up the most space, thrown over the back of it was his invisibility cloak.

In front of the sofa, there was a small coffee table, which held his rather useless mobile phone, being that it couldn't call or text any of his registered contacts due to being in another universe entirely.

The bedroom had a small second floor, accessible by a small staircase, which held his bed and a bedside table, on top of which was a lamp and a couple of books that he'd found in one of the libraries aboard the TARDIS.

Under the bed, there was a large oak desk and a very comfortable leather chair.

And on top of the desk, Koschei dumped just a few more books to go over in review, as he attempted to plan his next project.

Each project that he had started while in this universe had been created with the goal of getting back to his original universe.

Sadly, each of his previous ideas had been either scrapped or had failed in their prototyping stage, which left him back at square one each time.

Sitting down at his chair, he gave a big stretch, before reaching to grab a pencil to begin making notes as he read through the large books.

He had a few hours to kill, after all.

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

Koschei looked up at the sign of the slightly run-down pub that sat at the end of the alleyway, a bag filled with money from the current time held loosely in one hand.

 _Maybe,_ he pondered, it wasn't such a good idea to go drinking in the middle of _World War Two,_ eventually, he shrugged and pushed the door open, quickly making his way to the bar.

"What's the strongest whiskey you've got?" he questioned the bartender, who looked at him as though he were mad.

"Well, I suppose it'd be this," he pulled down an old looking bottle, before holding it out for his inspection, it was half full, but of very good quality.

"I'll take the bottle."

"Are you sure lad?" he asked, seemingly concerned, to which Koschei pulled out his money and began counting, "Right, I'll get a glass for you."

By the time the man had grabbed a clean glass for him, he'd counted the money out, sliding it over, he grabbed the glass and poured some of the whiskey from the bottle into said glass, before re-stoppering it.

"Are you alone, lad?"

Koschei grabbed the glass, "No, I'm travelling with a couple of people, probably not the best climate for it, but you deal with what you have," he shrugged, then sipped at his drink.

The bartender nodded as he cleaned a glass, "So, where you from then?"

"Surrey," he scowled into his glass, "Me and my relatives didn't get on well, I left when I was eleven, been all over since then."

The man stared at him in shock, "Eleven, didn't anyone ever wonder what a young lad was doing on his own?"

He snorted and downed the rest of his glass, quickly refilling it and sitting back in his chair, "Nah, people don't question that sort of thing if you act like you belong and have a good story, 'oh, I'm just going to visit my grandmother, she lives in the next town over, so I'm just travelling through,' throw them a grin and they'll just smile at you and you can be on your way."

The bartender hummed, and gave him a considering look, "So, where you all heading to?"

He shrugged, "Wherever the wind takes us, I suppose, although, I reckon we'll probably be avoiding most of Europe for a while," he lied.

The bartender nodded, "Probably for the best."

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

Koschei was more than a little bit drunk when the Doctor turned up much later that day, and it was very obvious.

"Doctor!" he cried out with a big grin on his face as he laid eyes on his friend.

The bartender looked over at the Doctor with an amused look on his face, "You turned up just in time, I was actually about to kick him out, had a bit too much."

"I'm so sorry," the Doctor apologised, to which the bartender waved it off with a laugh.

"Nonsense, the lad's been more than good company, if a little on the excitable side once he's had a bit to drink."

"Doctor!" he called out again, as he made his way over to the bar, Koschei held out the bottle of whiskey he was currently going through, having finished the half-filled bottle and another one on top of that, "D'you want some?"

"No thank you," he smiled at him, before turning to face the bartender once more to question him on his wellbeing.

Koschei looked down at his bottle, which was a quarter full at this point, before shrugging and putting it up to his mouth, taking a long swig from it.

"Alright you," the Doctor pulled him to his feet, "Say bye."

"Bye!" he called out behind him, waving with the hand that still held his bottle while the Doctor pulled him along by his other hand.

The bartender chuckled and soon they were outside in the cool air.

"So, whiskey, huh?" the Doctor questioned.

"'s good!" he chirruped at him before he tripped over the cracks in the path, the Doctor quickly reaching out to make sure he didn't fall flat on his face, "Thanks!"

The Doctor pulled him closer to his body so that he could support him better as they walked down the alleyway towards the TARDIS.

By the time they'd made it to the door, Koschei had finished his bottle, he turned his head to look down at it sadly, as the Doctor pulled him inside, causing him to stumble, and shutting the door behind them.

"Is he drunk?" came Rose's questioning voice.

"Rose!" he called out happily.

"Yes," the Doctor confirmed.

"Rose, hi!"

"Hello," she giggled at his inebriated state.

"Right, I'm going to get him to bed before we go save Captain Jack."

"Oh!" Koschei spun on his feet to look at the Doctor, falling over as he did so, "Handsome Jack is here?"

The grip the Doctor had on his hand seemed to tighten, and he frowned at him in confusion.

"I suppose you know him?"

"Sorta, _not really!"_ he stood on his feet with help from the Doctor, "Met him once," he paused to consider, "He's got a nice arse."

Both Rose and the Doctor stared at him for a moment before the Doctor shook his head and began marching him further inside the TARDIS.

"Right, you, bed."

"Awh, but you're getting Jack!"

"You can see Jack when you're awake," the Doctor said, pulling open the door to the room which was Koschei's, "And when you're sober."

The Doctor stared at his room for a moment, before shaking his head and locating his bed.

"Right, shoes off!"

He pouted but did as he was told, quickly pushing them off his feet with the opposing feet, before walking over to his drawers and pulling out pyjamas, quickly changing, and only falling over twice once the Doctor had turned around to give him some privacy.

"Okay I'm dressed now, why'd you stay though?" he asked him.

"Because you're drunk, and I doubt you'd be able to get up to your bed on your own."

He giggled before letting loose a jaw cracking yawn, and the Doctor helped him get up the stairs to the platform that held his bed, and he only almost fell off once.

He allowed the Doctor to push him into his bed, almost immediately beginning to fall asleep, not even bothering to wait for him to leave.

There was a moment of quiet between them, the Doctor stood above him, a considering and almost guilty look on his face, not that Koschei would know that halfway into the land of dreams that he was.

"Hey, Koschei?"

He gave a sleepy hum, before replying, "Yes, Theta?"

There was the sound of a sharp intake of breath and then silence for a moment.

"Nothing, just go to sleep."

There was the sound of movement, then the door clicked shut, and Koschei drifted off into sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

It was rather a strange experience, meeting Harry Potter for the first time.

The young man was stood outside the chapel that Rose had been taken to, with a rather annoyed look on his face, a neighbour possibly.

"They do this every week," he'd muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me," he'd called out to the man stood on the stairs.

He'd looked over at them and raised an eyebrow, leaning over on his cane, focusing his attention on them.

"Excuse me," he'd repeated, "What do you mean they do this every week?"

The man who had introduced himself with the rather obviously false name of _'Evan Evans',_ had been very attentive and had invited himself into the chapel along with them, helping out where he could but otherwise staying out of the way.

The Doctor's issue with the man was that he worked too well with them, with _him._

Something was wrong with him, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that he was obviously from another period of time altogether. His mannerisms, while they'd adapted well to his environment, were very much out of place.

So, the Doctor came to the logical conclusion that the man was attempting to steal his TARDIS, something which was happily not the case.

Well, not _happily,_ he supposed, considering the man, Harry Potter was his actual name, was stuck in a universe not his own.

Watching the dark-haired man walk about one of his kitchens, freshly cleaned and shaven, wearing a set of his too-large clothes, making them all a snack before they set off on their next adventure, he made a silent promise to keep him safe.

If he could never get back to his own universe, he would have a home here, with him.

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

When Harry had come back from clothes shopping, the Doctor had to admit that the clothes he'd picked out were very fitting.

He was wearing black torn jeans, which had a purple flannel shirt half tucked in, over which a jacket, black leather with white faux fur lining the inside, was casually thrown over the top, a pair of black military combat boots adorned his feet, which his jeans were also tucked into.

"Well don't you clean up nice?" Rose questioned, rhetorically, the Doctor had to agree.

"Here's your clothes back," Harry told him, passing him a bag filled with clothing to him, "Thanks for letting me borrow them."

The Doctor watched him silently as he pulled his hair, which had been restored from its matted mess into a silky looking stylish mess, into a ponytail.

A part of him, which he dared not look into, for fear of being saddened too much, decided that he'd look far nicer with a beard.

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

A few interesting revelations about his universe hopping guest had come about that day.

One, Harry had been arrested, multiple times if his word was correct.

This didn't come as too much of a surprise, considering the fact that he knew his alternate self, and if they'd travelled together for at least a little bit, which was what seemed to be alluded to, then it wasn't too far of a stretch to say they'd gotten into some trouble.

Two, Harry was a wizard, as in real magic, brooms, and owls flying about the place.

He didn't seem as keen on actually using his magic as he would have expected, however, seemingly preferring to take things into his own hands and do them by his own strengths, which was honestly rather admirable, considering he could quite literally get the same results by a flick of the wand as it were.

The fact that he was a literal book character was rather amusing, honestly.

Three, Harry smoked.

Honestly, that was fine by him, just so long as he didn't smoke in the TARDIS.

It was a very difficult smell to get out of the console room.

It was much later that night, after all the humans on board the TARDIS had gone to sleep and he himself was beginning to drift off that the little things he'd learnt about him tried to come together in a way he was uncomfortable with, so he pushed it to the side of his mind.

It was unhealthy to project your dead best friend on someone else, after all.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

Walking down a large corridor to meet Henry van Statten's _'pet',_ the Doctor looked at Harry out of the corner of his eye.

He was walking with his back as straight as it could be, chin held high, and a rather commanding yet blank look on his face.

Henry van Statten was very obviously attempting to ignore him but wasn't successful if the nervous gazes he kept throwing him were any clue.

For such a short man, Harry Potter held the authority of a man in great power.

The way that he'd managed to make Henry van Statten submit to his will by just staring him down back in the man's office was a true testament to the man himself.

Holding yourself confidently and speaking with a commanding tone really could get people to listen to you, no matter who they were.

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

Harry had seen Daleks before.

More than that, Harry had been in a position where Daleks had caused great destruction in his life.

The way he stared almost vacantly at it while they were trapped in the cage with it had spoken volumes.

He'd been quickly dragged out of the cage after he began electrocuting it, and he'd grabbed Harry's arm, gently pulling him out alongside him as he went.

The man was very quiet after that, responding to his question with a nod of the head instead of a verbal answer like he'd been expecting.

His eyes, normally a bright green, had been shadowed in a way he'd never seen on the young man's face.

And yet, even with the trauma, he must be reliving, he could still find it in himself to offer the Doctor support, silent though it were, when he'd begun talking about the Time War.

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

"Apparently, it does not like to be tasered, _who knew?"_

The Doctor could see the way that he was holding himself on the screen, seemingly relaxed as he kept his wand pointed at the Dalek.

But he could see the way his shoulders trembled, hear the way his voice hitched ever so slightly.

Harry was completely terrified of the Dalek, but there was something _else_ there too.

And yet, he hid these so well that none of the humans in the room could see it.

He was acting strong, not for the people that worked for Henry van Statten.

Nor was he acting strong for the Doctor, having already proven his terror of them in front of him earlier.

No, there was only one person that the Doctor could think of that he'd be acting strong for, Rose, who'd cried when she thought he had died, trapped in the vault with the Dalek.

The Doctor wasn't even sure that he was aware he was doing it.

But he could respect it, at the very least.

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

When Henry van Statten shot Harry, he was angry but not surprised.

A man like that does not take being told what to do lightly.

And Harry had told him what to do, he'd pushed him in a way he did not like.

And then he'd harmed his 'pet' without being told that he could harm said 'pet', even though it had been decided that the Dalek needed to die.

He was truly a petty man, and he couldn't find it in himself to feel sorry for what Goddard had planned for him.

After the Dalek had been dealt with, he'd supported him into the TARDIS's med bay, where he'd removed the bullet and had the flesh re-knit itself using one of the untranslatable medical devices, which he'd creatively renamed _'flesh re-knitter'_ in English.

He'd looked down at his hands, soaked in blood, human this time and sighed.

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

Having life-threatening adventures with one human, while the other was unconscious in the med bay was quite a strange experience.

The first adventure without Harry had been to a news satellite, where Adam, possibly one of the most stupid twenty-first-century humans he'd ever met, had decided to have a computer implant.

Something which he would be unable to use back in his own time, apart from possibly a very disturbing party trick.

He had a very strong feeling that had Harry been awake to see it, he would have spent quite a while just straight-up mocking the boy.

The second adventure without him had been to the day of Rose's father's death.

He'd been very worried for his wellbeing when the TARDIS's existence just stopped when Rose had saved her father's life, but once everything was resolved, he'd checked on him and he'd been fine.

Other than his moment of non-existence, it had actually been one of the least threatening adventures he'd been on.

Perhaps Harry would have appreciated pictures?

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

One of the things that truly unnerved him about Harry was his ability to accurately predict how he was feeling.

He'd been able to do it since he'd met him, going out of his way to cheer him up when he began feeling even slightly down.

He'd also picked up on the fact that this regeneration of his enjoyed bitter-tasting foods a lot more than sweet ones, bringing him dark tea instead of milky, or even coffee instead of tea, picking out dark chocolate instead of milk, because he knew the Doctor would prefer it.

The way that he'd managed to slot the Doctor into his life as though he were just an extension of himself was scary.

Because he'd only known one other person who'd managed to do it that well.

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

Everything that he'd tried not to project onto his universe hopping friend crashed down the second he dragged him into his bedroom after he'd gotten drunk.

Stacks of books piled everywhere in all sorts of languages.

Including Circular and Modern Gallifreyan.

All the little things that he'd learnt about Harry suddenly slotted together in a way that he just couldn't ignore.

So, he helped him to bed, and feeling rather guilty, he asked a question that would either confirm or deny his thoughts.

"Hey, Koschei?"

There were a few ways the Doctor could see this going.

One, he'd snap out that wasn't his name and that he knew that.

Two, he'd be confused as to who that was.

Or three, he'd just ignore it because he was drunk and half asleep.

A sleepy hum came from him and the Doctor was certain that it had been the third option until he heard him mutter.

"Yes, Theta?"

He breathed in sharply in surprise, not having expected that response of all things.

But honestly, perhaps he shouldn't have been too surprised, he was from another universe after all, who knew what the differences between the two were.

"Nothing, just go to sleep."

With that, he made his way down the stairs and out of his room.

He had to admit to himself that he felt rather guilty about asking him like that, he wasn't in a state to defend his private life, after all.


	8. Chapter 8

When Koschei woke up the next day he was full of regret, his head was pounding, and his eyes were extremely dry.

Groaning, he stretched and then sat up in his bed, waiting for the light-headedness to pass before he got up and slowly made his way down the staircase and to the attached bathroom.

He quickly splashed some cool water on his face, then leant against the sink, forehead against the mirror on one of the cabinet doors as he tried to stave off his nausea.

Drinking on an empty stomach turned out to be a _very_ bad idea.

Sighing, he pulled back from the mirror and opened the cabinet, quickly grabbing the pain relief medication that was stashed inside and popping two in his mouth, washing them down with water from the sink.

He stood there for a moment, before sighing and turning to the shower.

He felt awful and he stunk, a chance to freshen up before he saw Rose and the Doctor would be needed.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

He heard laughing coming from the kitchen as he headed down the corridor, fresh out of the shower with some nice clean clothes on.

He hadn't bothered to put shoes on as he did not plan on going out on whatever adventure the Doctor managed to land them at unless there was a restaurant that sold a full English breakfast, or a takeaway at the very least, he could really do with something nice and greasy right now.

"Hey," he greeted the three people gathered in the kitchen as he made his way to the kettle, clicking it on and pulling a mug down from the cupboard above it, before he paused and looked over his shoulder, counting the people in the room.

There was Rose, sat at the kitchen table with a mug of tea in her hands.

There was the Doctor, tensely leaning against the counter and looking at him with a rather _guilty_ expression on his face.

And there was…

"Hello, I'm Harry," he held his hand out for the man to shake.

Jack leant over the table, a flirtatious grin on his face as he grabbed his hand in greeting, "Hello, Harry, I'm Jack," he proceeded to run his eyes over the very obviously hungover man, "I must say, you look wonderful."

Out of the corner of his eye, Koschei could see the Doctor's grip on the counter become tenser, he snorted, "I look about as wonderful as the Earth is flat."

Jack pouted as he let his hand drop, Koschei quickly returning to where the kettle had finished boiling to pour himself a nice strong cuppa.

"Why does no-one here fall for my charms?"

"I don't do desperate, sorry," Koschei stated idly while stirring some sugar into his drink.

Rose, who had been taking a sip of her tea at the time, almost choked on it in shock, before bursting out laughing, with the occasional interrupting cough.

The Doctor had somewhat relaxed but was still looking at him with a very guilty look plastered on his face.

Koschei sighed into his mug of freshly brewed tea, deciding that if he was still looking at him like he'd murdered his owl, Artemis once the day was over then he'd confront him.

But until then, he'd enjoy his cup of tea.

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

Their next stop was to Cardiff for refuelling, so they'd likely end up at a local restaurant later that day, as such, Koschei had gathered his shoes to put on when they went but were currently just sat by the door as he slowly swung his feet about.

While they were sat around the console, someone knocked at the door, which Jack answered.

"Who the hell are you?"

"What do you mean _'who the hell am I?'"_ came the voice of Mickey, "Who the hell are you?"

"Captain Jack Harkness," he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, "Whatever it is you're selling, we're not buying."

There was a moment of silence before Mickey pushed Jack out of the doorframe, "Get out of my way!"

"Wait, don't tell me, this must be Mickey," Jack huffed.

"Oh no, here comes trouble," the Doctor commented, "How are you doing, Ricky boy?"

"It's Mickey!"

"Don't listen to him," Rose pulled Mickey away from the Doctor who had a bright grin on his face, "He's just winding you up."

Mickey hugged Rose, "You look fantastic."

Koschei groaned at the noise, placing his head face down on the console for the coolness it gave.

"What's wrong with him?" Mickey asked, pulling away from Rose.

"Hangover," he grunted.

"Ah."

Koschei tuned out their chatter as they caught up with each other and ignored Jack's attempts at flirting with both he and the Doctor, until he was being ushered out the door, putting his shoes on as he went.

"We're going to get food, right?" he asked tiredly.

"I mean, we can, we've got the time," the Doctor confirmed, quickly looking away from him when he noticed him looking.

Koschei frowned slightly, looking at the Doctor with worry before he pushed it to the back of his mind, it could wait until later.

 _"Wonderful,"_ he groaned instead.

**_Show Me The Way Home_ **

The restaurant they'd gone to was rather nice and located next to a beach, so they had some nice views of the ocean, not that Koschei was really in any state to appreciate this.

He'd ordered himself a large full English breakfast, opting for fried bread instead of toast, and fried egg instead of scrambled, he'd also got a pot of tea with it.

He groaned as he bit into the fried bread, while greasy food wasn't typically his favourite thing to eat, when hungover it was absolutely the best thing a person could ask for.

"Hey now," Jack complained, "The only time I want to hear groaning like _that_ is when I'm in bed."

Koschei turned to look at him with the blankest face he could muster with a mouth full of food, "The fact that you think people would be groaning like that in bed with you is depressing."

"Oh wow, that really hurts," Jack mock pouted at him, at the same time Mickey burst out laughing.

Koschei pointed his fork at Jack, "I'm sure you'll find someone who can look past that face of yours," he proceeded to stab a hash brown with his fork, bringing it to his mouth, he paused just before taking a bite, _"Eventually,"_ he shrugged.

_"Ow."_

Soon after, Jack began telling a story, which he tuned out, blankly eating the rest of his food, and slowly growing more tired, the slight ocean breeze bought along with the smell of saltwater, which helped him to relax just a bit more.

"And I was having such a nice day," the Doctor suddenly commented, showing them the newspaper that depicted the female Slitheen which they'd previously encountered at Downing Street.

"I hope you don't mind, Doctor," he began, continuing once his focus was on him, "But I think I'm going to sit this one out."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best," the Doctor winced at how his words sounded, but he waved it off.

They walked out of the restaurant, "Think I'm going to go back to bed for a bit," Koschei muttered before he split off from the rest of them, walking towards the TARDIS while they went to the City Hall.

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

Koschei awoke a few hours later feeling far better than he had when he'd been awake previously, the TARDIS was silent, just the two of them, and he revelled in the temporary peace.

He was in a very good mood too, and with that good mood, he decided he wanted to do a bit of baking.

He made his way to the closest kitchen and began digging through the cupboards, grabbing the things needed to bake a nice red velvet cake, one of his favourites.

Looking at the expiry date on the buttermilk, Koschei was glad that the TARDIS came fully equipped with stasis cupboards and fridges, good as the day it was bought, fifty years out of date.

He lost track of time as he prepared the batter for the cake, he'd just put the two cake tins into the oven when it felt as though an earthquake had ripped through the TARDIS, things were shaking and falling all over the place.

Koschei frowned, something like that shouldn't be possible, what with the TARDIS being on her own dimensional plane than the rest of the universe.

Wiping his hands on a tea towel that he'd grabbed from the countertop, he began making his way to the console room to try and figure out what was going on.

As he neared the doorway he called out, "Hey, what's going-" but the words died in his mouth once he got close enough to see.

His eyes grew wide as he saw the console of the TARDIS wide open, glowing golden light pouring out of it, Rose and Jack were looking away as the Doctor went to close it, quickly Koschei raised his arm to his eyes to block the light out, dropping it once it died down.

Blinking rapidly, he attempted to dispel the dark spots that had taken up residence in his vision.

He slowly made his way over to the chattering trio, attempting not to bump into anything, which was quite a challenge when you were temporarily blinded, although, by the time he'd made it over to them, it had mostly cleared up.

"So, what happened?" he questioned.

"Margaret the Slitheen is now Margaret the Egg," the Doctor informed him.

"Ah," he looked around, "And where's Mickey?"

"He's gone," Rose admitted, "I don't blame him, he deserves better."

Koschei frowned at her and placed a supporting hand on her shoulder.

"You know what'd make you feel better?"

"What?"

"Cake, it's still cooking, but it'll be ready in about, what," he looked at the analogue clock that was being displayed on one of the screens at the console, "forty-five minutes?"

She gave a small smile, "Yeah? What type?"

"Red velvet."

"Didn't know you could bake," Jack interrupted.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me," he informed him.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as the Doctor looked over at him with that guilty expression again.

Koschei ignored it for the moment, "My godfather loves homemade cakes, but he can't cook for shit, managed to almost burn down a hotel room we were renting out trying to microwave some instant noodles."

"Really?" Rose cried out in surprise.

"Oh yes," he nodded, "I banned him from any kitchen after that point, especially because I actually enjoy cooking," he gave a small smile as he remembered Sirius's catastrophic cooking attempts, "So, since I could cook and enjoyed it, he often asked me to bake a cake or two."

"Yeah, well, who else thinks we should get Harry to cook us all a cake each week?" Rose jokingly asked.

"I'll second that," Jack said, "Gotta love a bit of cake."

The Doctor snorted from his place at the console, "If I said no, I'd be outvoted, so I suppose I should say yes, looks like you're on baking duty."

Koschei shook his head in amusement.

"Chilli cake next week then?"

"No!" Rose and Jack cried at the same time.

The Doctor burst out laughing from where he was stood.

_**Show Me The Way Home** _

"Alright you, spill," Koschei all but demanded of the man sat on the single-seat sofa in the library, he was leaning against the doorway closest to the chair.

There was no chance of the other two walking in on their conversation, considering they'd gone off to bed two hours prior.

The Doctor jumped in surprise, obviously not having noticed his approach, "Spill what?" he asked nervously.

Koschei frowned at him, pushing away from the doorframe, and walking closer, leaning against the arm of the sofa next to him.

"You've had this guilty look on your face all day whenever you look at me," he gave him an unimpressed look, "So out with it."

He looked uncomfortable and Koschei sighed, "Look, whatever it is I'm not going to get mad or anything, I'm not one to dictate your life, so-"

"I invaded your privacy," the Doctor interrupted him.

Koschei reached up to rub at the bridge of his nose and gave another sigh, "Doctor, you've seen me naked, I doubt you could have invaded my privacy much worse than that."

The Doctor blushed and then paled at the reminder of his stint in the med bay, "Not like _that."_

"Then how, Doctor? Enlighten me."

"I asked you a very personal question while you were drunk," he admitted, before correcting himself, "Well, it wasn't really a question, more of a confirmation."

"And that was, what?"

The Doctor grew shuffled awkwardly where he was sat, refusing to make eye contact with him, then he said something that he had to strain to hear, it was so quiet, _"Koschei…"_

"Doctor that is not private information."

The Doctor turned his head to look at him so fast that Koschei was worried he might have cracked something.

"But you didn't say anything about it, I thought that you wanted to keep it secret."

"The fact that I never bought it up wasn't out of a want for keeping it secret, at first it was because I didn't know how you'd react, new universe and all that rot, not to mention that this regeneration of yours is a prior regeneration of the Doctor in my universe."

He sighed and hopped up onto the arm that he'd been leaning against, "After that, it just never came up, never felt the need to," he shrugged.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes as the Doctor digested this information, and then the Doctor grabbed him in a hug.

"I'm still sorry."

He sighed, wrapping his arms around him in return, "It's fine."


End file.
